This week I had an amazing opportunity to catch up with current Marine Philip Potter, who is just a couple years removed from being a former Shoal Creek student who spent many, many hours of his life being a part of the Shoal Creek community.
He and I were able to chat and catch up, but I was also able to capture his thoughts and reflections about his time at Shoal Creek, and the things he felt were most impactful on his spiritual journey. Even better, he shared some things he wished for future Shoal Creek students.
Here is a link to about a 10 minute audio interview. I consider this stuff GOLD. After you get a chance to listen, scroll down and I'll distill what I think were the central key themes of his spiritual journey.
Philip's Key Themes for His Spiritual Journey
1. "All of that structure was nice, every Sunday was nice, small groups were nice, but leaving that, all of sudden there's no structure, and I'm like, 'I don't know what to do.'"
Structure is great, community is great, but ultimately those things are just a means to an end, and not ends in themselves. "Shoal Creek" is not THE answer. "Small Groups" are not THE answer. "Children/Student Ministry" is not THE answer. Those pieces are all tools and parts of the equation of being on a spiritual journey. But ultimately, we have to figure out who Jesus is for us independently. One of the things students will struggle with when they leave Shoal Creek (as Philip was able to articulate) is potentially being co-dependent on Shoal Creek's structures and programs for their connection with Jesus.
EVERY church struggles with this, by the way. This is not just an "SC" thing. I think what Philip is suggesting is that while structure/programs are absolutely GOOD things, they still are not in and of themselves enough, because once you move away from those programs/structures, you discover the only thing you're left with is the faith that you cultivated (or failed to cultivate) independently from any Sunday service, small group, or program you attended. It's what the spiritual journeys of our students (and ourselves) look like in private, not the company of others, that determines how well they (we) will navigate the gap between "structure vs. structure-less-ness" when there might not be a Shoal Creek, or other organization, to give them the answers. Sometimes too much structure can be a BAD thing for the long-term health of our students' spiritual journeys.
2. "My dad's brutal honesty about his past." What courage it takes to be real, authentic, and share with our kids how we've screwed up in our own lives. But what incredible safety and security and intimacy it can create in our relationships with our children. When Philip entered into his 8th/9th grade years, his father began modeling an adult-level relationship with his son, sharing adult-sized concepts. Instead of holding back out of fear that his son might take his past screw ups as "permission" to go make his own mistakes, deep sharing led Philip to see that God's way was better than any way his dad had chosen, and therefore God's way might be the better way for Philip to choose as well.
There is a "relational regression" that will automatically kick in when our kids hit adolescence. To keep mutual ground, instead of losing ground, in our relationships with our kids, we have to share our personal journeys with them in adult ways--because that's what they need our help becoming anyways.
3. "Getting involved from an early age." One thing that Philip's parents did was to get Philip thinking "attend a service/serve a service". Meaning, they organized their entire family's life into partnering with Shoal Creek and Jesus' mission of reaching lost people. Each member of their family joined a specific SC Team (what we call Serve Groups now) as a full-fledged member, and gave multiple hours of their week, every week, to be a part of Shoal Creek's mission of "turning spiritual seekers into fully devoted followers of Christ." This really served two intensely critical purposes:
- It taught them that they were a part of something "bigger" than themselves. Serving taught them that church wasn't just about coming and sitting through a service, but that Jesus wanted them to be partners with Him, making the world a better place.
- It gave them the opportunity to develop extremely critical relationships with other Christ-centered adults at Shoal Creek who acted as both formal and informal mentors and guides for their spiritual journeys.
As a middle school student, Philip started off serving in ABC Zone, then served as a Buya leader as a high school student, then eventually finished his last two years in high school as a member of the Shoal Creek music team. Along the way, he developed personal relationships with many others that spoke truth and delivered grace into his life, and he wouldn't have developed those kinds of formational relationships if he hadn't had adopted the "attend a service/serve a service" mindset that his parents directed their entire family into.
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Lots to digest with all of this, but please, would pray you listen to Philip again and let God guide you in what steps you need to take in guiding your student on their spiritual journey.
Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Snapchat? Surely your teenager has no idea what any of those are--yeah right!
