Must Reads - The Scary Facts About Bullying That Everyone Should Know

This week's Must Read comes from an October 17th article from Teen Vogue entitled, "The Scary Facts About Bullying That Everyone Should Know". Considering "Bullying" was the topic of this past week in our Dads/Sons Sunday small group, I thought it provided a great followup for not just them, but for anyone who's been affected by bullying, whether directly or indirectly. 

Please go read the full article yourself, but here's an excerpt:

According to Crisis Text Line data released exclusively to Teen Vogue, the organization receives bullying texts much more in the afternoon than other crisis conversations, with a huge spike in both cyberbullying and bullying in real life around 11 a.m. Those outreaches go up again around 9 and 10 p.m. before dropping off for the evening, and start again in the morning. The data seem to suggest that people are being bullied at school, reach out during lunch for help, going home, and then reach out again before bed.

I cringe at how clinically those bullying patterns are laid out. It's like I can visualize how students go through bullying all morning in their classes, then escape into hiding at diversion of lunch, so that they can desperately reach out from their hiding to try to find some kind of temporary solace before getting another dose of bullying in the afternoon and before bed. Makes me sick to visualize it like that.

If you have a teenager you care about in your life, just do them a favor and make sure you pour a little extra energy into asking them how their day really went. They could be looking for help, and even if they don't open up to you, or if nothing really happened, they need to know that you're a lifeline for them whenever they need you.

And here's the link to Crisis Text Line if you're more interested in learning about them, or want to supply your teen with this resource for their sake, or so that they can be a resource for their friends' sake.

Inspiration for Today : The Adversity of Anger

"Understand this...you must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness (or justice) that God desires."

Don't take the bait. You want to. I know you do, because often I want to take the bait, too. But then we'd be just another stupid "bass" for biting on the comment, or action, that has offended us, and that we want to correct through our own force.

I was reading this piece of scripture from James 1:19-27, and it struck at a very personal level, because often when I am offended, I'm hurt at that personal level, and I respond back out of my personal hurt, and not objective truth. When I react to a personal offense, without first seeking out what God has to say about it, there's a good chance that my anger won't produce righteousness, or justice, or goodness.

When James writes this, he doesn't say to not be angry. He just says to be slow to getting to angry. Because we more often fight back out of the personal pain we feel when we are offended, we're often not fighting for a deeper truth other than getting revenge. Underneath the pains we feel are deeper truths. Choosing to slow down our anger and resisting the urge to be reactionary allows us to see more deeply down into the muck and mire of our broken realities, so that we can lay eyes on the more foundational truths for which we need to protect and fight.

James also says, "If you claim to be religious (a.k.a. "claim to be a spiritual person") but don't control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion (spirituality) is worthless." Choosing to be slow to anger allows us to think through what is really bothering us, giving us a more firm foundation to stand on when we're ready to speak of the deeper truths that have surfaced when we've given God time to search our souls.

Be angry at the things that are wrong with this world. Be angry at the brokenness that exists in us all. But also be willing to give yourself time search out your anger for deeper truths, instead of being primarily reactionary in your anger.

And full disclosure, when I read this scripture this morning, the idea of this pertaining to politics hadn't even entered my mind. All of the thoughts that were swirling around me concerning this scripture had to do with the way I have responded to people within my own personal spheres, and nothing to do with anything in any public spheres. So please read this thinking of you respond to people in your personal spheres before copy/pasting it to your public spheres. Doing it the other way will render it less effective.

Presently Picking Popcorn People!

One big need need for the Halloween Bash that would be a perfect fit for student families would be helping us pop and serve popcorn for the Bash!

Part of what makes the Halloween Bash such an attractional event to our community is that it's absolutely FREE! For us to be able to make this event free, and expose our campus to new families looking for a spiritual home, we need help popping popcorn starting at 9:30am on Sunday 10/30, and serving it during the Bash (5-7pm). 

Would your family consider being a part of our popping? Would you sign up for a shift? I need one family (or at least 3 people) to cover Shifts 1-5, and at least 2 families (or at least 5-6 people) to cover Shifts 5-6, which will be serving the popcorn during the Bash.

Shift 1, 9:30am-11am

Shift 2, 11am-12:30pm

Shift 3, 12:30pm-2pm

Shift 4, 2pm-3:30pm

Shift 5, 3:30pm-5pm

Shift 6, 5pm-6:30pm

Shift 7, 6:30pm-7:30pm

Please contact me if you can take a shift or help out in anyway, thanks!

One Way To Think About Praying With Your Children

"Dear..."

All of us would agree that prayer has some kind of place in pursuing a spiritual journey as a family. We desire that our children would be vitally connected to God so that they can be connected to the ultimate source of love. I mean, who wouldn't want their children--who go through so many doubts, hurts, pains and put-downs each day--to have a regular rhythm for connecting with the God that made them as special and unique as each of them truly are?

Though we desire for our children to have conversations with God, sometimes we get stuck in how to direct their dialogue, just as we ourselves struggle with knowing how to dialogue with God. Should I start with a "thee" or a "thou"? Exactly when is it appropriate to say "Amen"? How many times am I allowed to say "please"? (I hope a bunch!)

Before reading any further, you should absolutely go and read what Jesus said about prayer and praying in Matthew 6:9-15. Considering that Jesus pretty much invented what we call prayer, we should look to what he says as a place to see what kinds of things we out to pray and ask for.

There is no one way to pray. There is no formula that will automatically produce results. In some ways, the words themselves aren't even the most important piece of this puzzle. It's our hearts that God wants. It's into our hearts that God wants to speak. And so, in trying to speak back to God, we should let our hearts lead us in what we should be saying.

You and I all too well know the difficulties of this world. Who knows what kind of horror story will headline tonight's ticker. Each day is filled with emotional nicks, dents and burns that have an affect on the person our child is becoming. It is vital that they learn to hear God's voice for themselves; and, is imperative that we try to help them learn how to hear from God so that they will call out to him when they are in need.

If you are struggling with how to model prayer to your kids, I just want to offer up to you one way I've recently been trying to pray with my own children. This is not an be-all, end-all way to pray. I myself don't even do it every single day or night with my kid (variety is the spice of life, you know). But I have found this to be a cool way to give my prayer and the prayers of my children some structure that I hope will lead to a deeper reflection of who God is and why he is so good, if not now, then later in their lives.

1 - Say "Thanks."

We begin by thanking God for who he is and all he's done. I say to my kids, "What three things are you thankful for that happened today?" And then, "Let's tell God thank you for those things." And then we thank God accordingly

2 - Say "I'm sorry."

This is important because reminds us that God is God and we are not. We admit to God that we're far from perfect, that we're not enough on our own, and that we need his love to make up for that deficit. I say to my kids, "What are you sorry for? What did you do today that you know you shouldn't have?" And then, "Let's tell God we're sorry for that." We then ask God for forgiveness.

3 - Say "Please..."

After we have thanked God for who he is and what he's done for us, and after we've also said sorry for how we've fallen short of his awesomeness, we then ask God for his help. I say to my kids, "What do you want help with? For yourself? For someone you know? Let's ask God for help for those things." I think it's really important to have our children pray for someone other than themselves. If prayer for others is consistently absent from our prayers, then all we're really doing is teaching our children that God is a vending machine for their own personal desires. Our children need to develop an understanding that they are not the center of the world, and Jesus commands us to love others as much as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:34-40).

Final Advice

Whatever you do, just do it. Don't get hung up on if you're doing it the "right" way or not. God has promised that if we are truly seeking him, he will allow himself to be found. That means that the more time we spend seeking God in prayer, the more he will show up and continue to guide our thoughts and desires.

So don't overthink--just do!

Shoal Creek Community Church Services 10/16

Not able to attend either of our Sunday services this morning? Or just want to check out what we do before you consider attending?

Then watch live right now, or catch up here later this week!

Bullying: Dads-Sons Small Group This Sunday At Shoal Creek

You may not have heard, but for the past four weeks, six dad-son combos met to try a first ever dad-son small group. The results were very well received, so the group has decided they want to continue being on a spiritual journey together. This Sunday the topic will be "Bullying"--something that's extremely relevant for families to discuss.

If you're a dad and you have a teenage son that you want to be on a spiritual journey with, OR, if you just have a son that you want to get on a spiritual journey, please contact me so that I can get you connected to the group! We will NOT exclude any teenage boy who wants to have some spiritual discussion, even if dad can't attend with his son. We want teenagers to be on a spiritual journey no matter what, and can work around any limitations you might feel you have to getting your teenage boy plugged into to a regularly meeting small group.

The group will start at 9:30am, in "The Attic" at Shoal Creek. A free breakfast of either pancakes or donuts will also be provided for anyone who attends.

You're Invited!

There are two upcoming events in our KC Metro area that are fast approaching that might be of interest to you.  Both are hosted by KC Metro Young Life.  Both are presented by Chap Clark, PhD,  author and professor of Youth, Family, and Culture at Fuller Seminary, and President of ParenTeen, Inc. Both would be an incredible opportunity to learn more about how to help your teenager grow in all-around spiritual, mental, emotional and physical well-being. 

Next Time I Fall in Love

A seminar for teens and the adults who care about them, regarding sex, dating and relationships.  

WHO: All high school students throughout the Metro
WHAT: City-wide Campaigners
WHEN: Friday, October 21st @ 7:00PM-8:00PM
WHERE: Colonial Presbyterian Church 9500 Wornall Rd, Kansas City, MO
WHY: Because it'll be super fun and who doesn't want to talk about this stuff?
COST: We have picked up the cost of this event so that it is absolutely free to you! We just need to know you're coming. So click the link below to get your FREE ticket to this special one-time event!

https://kcmetro.younglife.org/Pages/Next-Time-I-Fall-in-Love.aspx

The Hurt Seminar

In this seminar, Chap presents the latest research – both his and others – on how life has changed for kids and the effect it has had on every aspect of their life, from development to communication to friendship to spirituality. This seminar is for parents, people who work with kids, and anyone who knows that the young need our very best in order to thrive. The session will also lead us through a strategic response to the contemporary world and mindset that define today’s kids.

WHEN: 1:00PM - 4:00PM Saturday October 22nd, 2016.
WHERE: YWAM Kansas City Campus (10121 Grandview Rd, Kansas City, MO 64137)
COST: $6 in advance or $8 at the door.

Register at this link:

https://kcmetro.younglife.org/Pages/Hurt-Seminar.aspx

Hope you can take advantage of these opportunities.