One Way To Think About Praying With Your Children

"Dear..."

All of us would agree that prayer has some kind of place in pursuing a spiritual journey as a family. We desire that our children would be vitally connected to God so that they can be connected to the ultimate source of love. I mean, who wouldn't want their children--who go through so many doubts, hurts, pains and put-downs each day--to have a regular rhythm for connecting with the God that made them as special and unique as each of them truly are?

Though we desire for our children to have conversations with God, sometimes we get stuck in how to direct their dialogue, just as we ourselves struggle with knowing how to dialogue with God. Should I start with a "thee" or a "thou"? Exactly when is it appropriate to say "Amen"? How many times am I allowed to say "please"? (I hope a bunch!)

Before reading any further, you should absolutely go and read what Jesus said about prayer and praying in Matthew 6:9-15. Considering that Jesus pretty much invented what we call prayer, we should look to what he says as a place to see what kinds of things we out to pray and ask for.

There is no one way to pray. There is no formula that will automatically produce results. In some ways, the words themselves aren't even the most important piece of this puzzle. It's our hearts that God wants. It's into our hearts that God wants to speak. And so, in trying to speak back to God, we should let our hearts lead us in what we should be saying.

You and I all too well know the difficulties of this world. Who knows what kind of horror story will headline tonight's ticker. Each day is filled with emotional nicks, dents and burns that have an affect on the person our child is becoming. It is vital that they learn to hear God's voice for themselves; and, is imperative that we try to help them learn how to hear from God so that they will call out to him when they are in need.

If you are struggling with how to model prayer to your kids, I just want to offer up to you one way I've recently been trying to pray with my own children. This is not an be-all, end-all way to pray. I myself don't even do it every single day or night with my kid (variety is the spice of life, you know). But I have found this to be a cool way to give my prayer and the prayers of my children some structure that I hope will lead to a deeper reflection of who God is and why he is so good, if not now, then later in their lives.

1 - Say "Thanks."

We begin by thanking God for who he is and all he's done. I say to my kids, "What three things are you thankful for that happened today?" And then, "Let's tell God thank you for those things." And then we thank God accordingly

2 - Say "I'm sorry."

This is important because reminds us that God is God and we are not. We admit to God that we're far from perfect, that we're not enough on our own, and that we need his love to make up for that deficit. I say to my kids, "What are you sorry for? What did you do today that you know you shouldn't have?" And then, "Let's tell God we're sorry for that." We then ask God for forgiveness.

3 - Say "Please..."

After we have thanked God for who he is and what he's done for us, and after we've also said sorry for how we've fallen short of his awesomeness, we then ask God for his help. I say to my kids, "What do you want help with? For yourself? For someone you know? Let's ask God for help for those things." I think it's really important to have our children pray for someone other than themselves. If prayer for others is consistently absent from our prayers, then all we're really doing is teaching our children that God is a vending machine for their own personal desires. Our children need to develop an understanding that they are not the center of the world, and Jesus commands us to love others as much as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:34-40).

Final Advice

Whatever you do, just do it. Don't get hung up on if you're doing it the "right" way or not. God has promised that if we are truly seeking him, he will allow himself to be found. That means that the more time we spend seeking God in prayer, the more he will show up and continue to guide our thoughts and desires.

So don't overthink--just do!