Shoal Creek ParenTeen - Three Ways To Parent

This week I came across an audio excerpt from Walt Mueller (founder of the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding) that reflected on a study done by the Barna Group (a faith-based polling company). The audio excerpt from Walt was basically a summation from this article and book that suggest parents use one of three different strategies when it comes to the way we parent. 

Strategy 1: "Parenting by Default"

In this approach, parents do whatever comes naturally to the parent, as influenced by cultural norms and traditions. The objective is to keep everyone - parent, child, and others - as happy as possible, without having the process of parenting dominate other important or prioritized aspects of the parent’s life.

Strategy 2: "Trial and Error Parenting"

This approach is based on the notion that every parent is an amateur at raising children, there are no absolute guidelines to follow, and that the best that parents can do is to experiment, observe outcomes, and improve based upon their successes and failures in child rearing. In this incremental approach, the goals of parenting are to continually improve and to perform better than most other parents.

Strategy 3: "Revolutionary Parenting"

This approach requires the parent to take God’s words on life and family at face value, and to apply those words faithfully and consistently.

And one last quote that kind of gives some context on how these strategies contrast:

Perhaps the most startling difference in these approaches has to do with the desired outcomes...Those who engage in revolutionary parenting define success as intentionally facilitating faith-based transformation in the lives of their children, rather than simply accepting the aging and survival of the child as a satisfactory result.

I think the main thing Barna and Walt are trying to communicate to parents is this--There are three ways to parent:

1. Parent in whatever way feels right to you.
2. Compare yourselves to other families and try to be better than them.
3. Parent in a way that reflects who God is to our kids, and parent with the intent purposes of wanting our kids to grow up with the desire to reflect God in their own lives as their number one desire.

Easier said than done, right? Well, it just so happens that this entire month at Shoal Creek we're doing a family series that speaks to four things our kids need. So I think attending this month's services, or watching the services online if you can't make it in, would be a great place to start discovering what it could look like for you to parent with the intent of putting God in the center of your family's life.