Thursday, February 5, 2015

Shoal Creek ParenTeen - Five Dangerous Lies Teenage Boys Believe

I came across this post by All Pro Dad this past week. It delved into five lies that teenage boys generally buy into that can cause serious damage in their lives. As I read through them, I could definitely think back to my teenage years and see how I bought into them, and how subsequently, my buying into them led to significant amounts of pain on my journey.
“My value is based on my achievements.”
They believe they are only as good as their last game, grade, compliment, and trophy. Those that buy into this lie live with an anxiety every day. Fear of failure and affirmation is the driving force. When failure arrives, it defines them. They constantly compare themselves to others and never feel good enough. The others all have the key to success that he does not have.
“Losing my virginity will make me a man.”
This is looked at as a rite of passage. When their peers begin to experience sex, they feel as though they are left behind. It is as if their peers have become men and they are still a boy. Sadly, sex becomes viewed as a goal to be achieved like getting a driver license or getting into college. The true design, context, and beauty of sex gets lost in a manhood conquest. This lie leaves battered and bruised hearts in its wake.
“I need to have it all together.”
They believe they should have all of the answers and not have any struggles. Be strong at all times, conquer every challenge, and meet every requirement. When things get difficult, man up and take care of business. Anything less may define them as weak. This is an isolating and stress-filled road that I’ve seen many teenage boys walk. They feel pressure from teachers, coaches, and parents. What happens more often is they work harder at upholding an image of strength and competency, rather than the actual thing. Maturity and growth end up being stunted because they are projecting a face.
“The value of a man is in his net worth.”
Teenage boys don’t make a lot of money, but the teenage years are where this lie finds roots. The people our culture defines as “successful” or “doing well” are always people that make a lot of money. When they believe this lie, they will seek out vocations that earn a high wage, rather than where their talents and passions lead. They potentially miss doing things that fill them with enthusiasm which is truly rich. Another fallout is their attitude toward the poor or even themselves when they earn a lower wage. Integrity gets thrown in the trash pretty quickly when a boy believes his personal worth is found in the size of his bank account.
What do we do when we come across a list like this? Or any other “5 Things That…” type post? 
1 – Reflect on each statement as it relates to the uniqueness of my kid. My guess is that all of these lies affect my child to some degree, but some will carry more weight than others.
2 – Figure out which statement is currently most relevant, and most affecting my child, and choose to work on replacing that lie with truth.
3 – Not sure how to replace those lies with “truth”? Message me. Would love to get together and walk you through how to have meaningful conversations with your son about this kind of stuff!

No comments:

Post a Comment