Sometimes it's hard to know how to pick the right battles when it comes to monitoring and parenting our children's online and digital behavior. We want our kids to be safe, without becoming overbearing. It's difficult to find objective ground to stand on, especially when staring into the blazing eyes of a 16-year old dead set on you not touching "their" phone. What exactly then IS important to us to pay attention to regarding rules, regulations, and phone freedom?
Please read the this full article from The Youth Cartel's Adam McLane to get the most out of this post, but for a snap shot, here are three "fence posts" that can guide our boundary setting as parents trying to help our kids navigate their digital lives.
1. The Importance of Transparency - Have you ever thought of adopting an "open screen" policy for everyone in the house? It is important that as parents we reserve the right to check on what our kids are looking at, or have stored on their phones and feeds, but are we leading by example here? Do we give our own kids the right to check what's on OUR screens whenever they want? Do we prove to them that transparency is a vital part of a person's digital life, not matter what age they are? Do you want the right to search their phone or tablet or laptop whenever you choose? Could you model that by extending them the same right and show them that it's possible to live a digital life with nothing to hide?
2. The Importance of Empathy for Others - One thing I think we've all noticed is that its so much easier to feel completely guiltless in laughing at others at their expense, or putting others down, online than in person. It's so much easier to say or type things online that no one would dream of saying face to face. Our online selves can be much harsher than our face to face selves. One area that is extremely important to monitor is to be aware of how our kids are treating others online. Care about what they say in voice chat while gaming. Care about what they leave in the comment sections of others.
3. The Importance of Private Space - Giving our kids space that is actually theirs is important in releasing them into adulthood. The key to being able to give them the freedom to have private space online relies on the previous two principles (Transparency and Empathy). Kids DO need the freedom to figure out who they really are, and parents DO need freedom to not have to always be on high alert. As we "practice what we preach" for principles one and two, we can extend the leash of principle three.
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